Sent 27/1/2011
Dear all,
Sorry I have been AWOL but I assure you that no news is good news or should I say no news is no news!
I honestly don't know where this past fortnight has gone. I say fortnight because the first week after chemo I am no good to anyone. Just an eating and sleeping monster thanks to the steroids which makes my appetite insatiable and me' unable to sleep so a sleeping pill addict. I can tell you simon is a very lucky boy that week- I am hot stuff!
Actually, in the grand scheme of things this chemo has been the best. The side effects I've had like the chronic indigestion haven't been too bad. Certainly not like chemo 3 when i couldn't stop vomiting. Who knew aniseed pepto bismal would be my chemo lifesaver. With that breath, again lucky boy simon.
Week two consisted of lots of injections. My neutrophils were 0.8 when I went back in a week after chemo. They should be 2 to 8 so I was put on 5 sets of gcsf and they dropped to 0.1 which should not happen. Fun and games. Two more injections followed on wed and thurs of last week which definitely worked- boy did I ache. I know how Harry potter felt when he had to grow new bones as I'm sure that's what was happening to me. I was so achey I could barely move and my neutrophils jumped up to 36! I was so healthy I could practically eat off the pavement so the weekend I went a bit nuts.
On friday night, I had wine and take away sushi (only the cooked stuff though- the raw stuff will have to wait a little longer) with a friend. Then went selfridges shopping on Saturday morning with mum and Amy. My first trip on public transport since September and I had truly forgotten how lovely it was- all those pleasant people with hacking coughs and loud music. Shopping was funded by a selfridges voucher christmas present from our generous dad and I got some very cool converse and some make up for when I venture back into the world. I don't think my transparent cancer glow will be acceptable once I am cured. After that we ventured to eight over eight for a girly lunch. Many an hour and many a pound were spent on a delicious lunch with wine- a couple of bottles to be precise. I went home to my injured boyfriend who had had a football accident the week before, had lots of water and sobered up so felt fine the next morning to start again. On Sunday, popped on the long wig and a nice dress and met some friends for lunch. Again lots of wine with some yummy food and great company though i have to apologise for pulling the cancer card to get the last spring roll. That was a cheap move!!
It was a lovely weekend albeit a busy one and I have been absolutely knackered this week. Good to see the old me' is still there though and released with the popping of a cork, hidden under the lack of hair and cancer chat.
I am currently sitting in the hospital, just having had a reflexology session (some perks to spending hours in the hospital) and hooked into a drip for the r of my r-chop. My neutrophils have dropped again that my last and final chemo has been postponed to Monday after a couple more of those little injections from nurse simon. Fingers crossed that this is the last. I do have a bit of news in that there is a slight plan albeit a sketchy one. Four weeks after this chemo I am booked in for a ct and pet scan. There were queries about whether the pet scan was necessary but I'm sorry fellow taxpayers, I insisted. I'd rather know 100% that I have the all clear than there be any shadow of a doubt. But saying that, it's good news that they only wanted a basic scan- fingers crossed. Then after that we will know a bit more about the future and I can start making plans for my life- holidays, dinners, typical 27 year old stuff rather than the geriatric lifestyle I'm accustomed too.
I surprisingly (or maybe not) got a bit teary about the change my life is going to take. I've gotten used to the friendly faces at chelsea and westminster and my relaxed routine. As although I would much rather be healthy, living a normal life and back at work, this has been my life for 6 months so the transition back may be a little trickier. This is completely normal and I have been warned that it's the time after the treatment that can be the most difficult to digest. Saying that, all this is from the girl who had cabin fever and was so frustrated about still being in this cancer situation a couple of weeks ago. I can tend to be a bit fluctuating so once again lucky simon, mum and dad.
Apart from all that life and health have been good. Perhaps I shouldn't say this but I had a mishap the other day. After noticing a bit of skin pigmentation on my neck, I brought it up with shauna, my wonderful chemo nurse. She said it could have been brought on my the chemo but after a bit of further investigation with some water and a gauze, the strange pigmentation was exposed as dirt! How disgusting am I!!! I do bathe every day, sometimes twice but to my credit (okay I am clutching at straws) my hickmann line comes up to my neck and I'm a bit paranoid of it so try and avoid looking at it let alone touch or wash it. I'm coming across as a bit of a state- honestly I'm looking after myself and do scrub up nicely. Well I try.
I hope you are all well and keeping busy and again, hope to catch up with you all when all this is over.
Love and kisses and will keep you informed.
Love em xxxx
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Monday, 10 January 2011
Update Number 25
Sent: Friday 7th Jan
Hi all,
(this is a two dayer- first part started yesterday Thursday and finished today)
So I am waiting in hospital and it's super busy so despite arriving at 9am I have yet to start chemo and it's now 11. Not to worry though as dad, grazia and Sophie Harris have been keeping me' busy and out of trouble.
Being rubbish at maths i miscalculated the days and arrived on Tues. to be poisoned but was told I was a couple of days premature as it had to be 21 days after the last chemo. The delay has done me' well though as I tend to get a little apprehensive before chemo as I'm unsure whether the cancer gods will be kind or in a bad mood however this time as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a faint and distant light, I'm gagging to have it. Only one more my friends. Can't wait. Okay maybe not but this is the first big goalpost and we'll face the next as it comes.
This is 11 hours later. So this morning shauna (my wonderful chemo nurse) came up and asked whether I would mind having the yukky I.T (where they to a lumbar puncture into your spine to put some of the chemo in- you remember and you will be tested on all these terms at a later date) today as Shiros the doctor who does them is super busy tomorrow (Friday when I was meant to have it) so my first reaction was to make sure I would still get drugs- yes- so I rounded the I.T brigade of simon and mum to join us in the hospital for the appointment at 3. As it was 1pm and I was all done, the afternoon was filled with lunch with my dad and Sophie Harris who was my new chemo buddy for the day. They swapped babysitting duties and took me' to my doom. Did I mention how much I hate this bit??!!! Anyhoo, was allowed lots of drugs as I coped well, unlike last time when I almost stopped breathing as I was so sedated (weird cause I'd only had a small dose). This time I actually slept or passed out I should say. Woop woop! I've got to remember these for boring dinner parties or long flights and other times when you need to be knocked out. Might keep the Hickman line just for it. So just the chop and a massage tomorrow now. Much nicer Friday.
Enough of boring cancer chat. My new years was far more interesting. Si and I went to our lovely restaurant for a 9.30 sit down which was better as there was less time for us old people to wait for midnight. So I wore a new dress, the short wig for a change and some ridiculous high heels which looked fabulous accept when I tried to walk or negotiate stairs or even stand. Glancing over the cocktails list, I thought sod it. I'm getting pissed tonight. So I order a Bellini and then another and then a bottle of red so was very merry in no time thanks to my drink free 4 months. The food was delish and we saw the new years in with some champagne, a bit of pashing and a jazz band which was being overrun by revellers who had obviously taken the 6.30pm sitting and been drinking the yummy cocktails ever since. The gypsy kings will never sound the same again! Our carriage picked us up at 12.30 and as I tottered around on my high heels, I lost my footing and tumbled to the ground right in front of the minicab- part drink related, part high heels on uneven cobbles. Not best pleased the driver rolled down the window and yelled quite aggressively that he wasn't having no drunk girl who vomits in his cab. At this point, I was trying to gracefully pick myself up, straighten my skewed wig and assess the damage to me' and my new dress so I yelled back- "how dare you. I have cancer. I could even take off my wig and show you"- not my finest hour!! Simon told him off in the car about how you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover etc despite it being after midnight on new years eve and we came tottering out of a restaurant and how i wasn't drunk (white lie- wasn't vomitty drunk). Anyway, by the end of the journey we'd all thought about what we had said and done and apologised to each other and went on our separate ways as better people.
Saturday was a bit of a hungover one. Egg McC muffins were had (see what I did there!!) Forgot how horrible hangovers were but at least I stuck with champagne and wine and left the jaegerbombs well alone so it wasn't too bad.
On Monday we were cultural and went to the national wildlife photographer of the year awards which was fantastic. Highly recommended. We've decided to get a print of a photo each year as simon got an icy landscape one from me' for Christmas last year. This year we have fallen in love with the tortoise from the Seychelles. Look her up- She's awesome!!
As I have been writing this for two days and having just had an x-ray and shauna is approaching me' with the chop, I best be off. Massage up next while I'm hooked up. Lovely.
I hope you all had wonderful new years and look forward to catching up with you in the new year.
Lots of love and kisses
Emx
Hi all,
(this is a two dayer- first part started yesterday Thursday and finished today)
So I am waiting in hospital and it's super busy so despite arriving at 9am I have yet to start chemo and it's now 11. Not to worry though as dad, grazia and Sophie Harris have been keeping me' busy and out of trouble.
Being rubbish at maths i miscalculated the days and arrived on Tues. to be poisoned but was told I was a couple of days premature as it had to be 21 days after the last chemo. The delay has done me' well though as I tend to get a little apprehensive before chemo as I'm unsure whether the cancer gods will be kind or in a bad mood however this time as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a faint and distant light, I'm gagging to have it. Only one more my friends. Can't wait. Okay maybe not but this is the first big goalpost and we'll face the next as it comes.
This is 11 hours later. So this morning shauna (my wonderful chemo nurse) came up and asked whether I would mind having the yukky I.T (where they to a lumbar puncture into your spine to put some of the chemo in- you remember and you will be tested on all these terms at a later date) today as Shiros the doctor who does them is super busy tomorrow (Friday when I was meant to have it) so my first reaction was to make sure I would still get drugs- yes- so I rounded the I.T brigade of simon and mum to join us in the hospital for the appointment at 3. As it was 1pm and I was all done, the afternoon was filled with lunch with my dad and Sophie Harris who was my new chemo buddy for the day. They swapped babysitting duties and took me' to my doom. Did I mention how much I hate this bit??!!! Anyhoo, was allowed lots of drugs as I coped well, unlike last time when I almost stopped breathing as I was so sedated (weird cause I'd only had a small dose). This time I actually slept or passed out I should say. Woop woop! I've got to remember these for boring dinner parties or long flights and other times when you need to be knocked out. Might keep the Hickman line just for it. So just the chop and a massage tomorrow now. Much nicer Friday.
Enough of boring cancer chat. My new years was far more interesting. Si and I went to our lovely restaurant for a 9.30 sit down which was better as there was less time for us old people to wait for midnight. So I wore a new dress, the short wig for a change and some ridiculous high heels which looked fabulous accept when I tried to walk or negotiate stairs or even stand. Glancing over the cocktails list, I thought sod it. I'm getting pissed tonight. So I order a Bellini and then another and then a bottle of red so was very merry in no time thanks to my drink free 4 months. The food was delish and we saw the new years in with some champagne, a bit of pashing and a jazz band which was being overrun by revellers who had obviously taken the 6.30pm sitting and been drinking the yummy cocktails ever since. The gypsy kings will never sound the same again! Our carriage picked us up at 12.30 and as I tottered around on my high heels, I lost my footing and tumbled to the ground right in front of the minicab- part drink related, part high heels on uneven cobbles. Not best pleased the driver rolled down the window and yelled quite aggressively that he wasn't having no drunk girl who vomits in his cab. At this point, I was trying to gracefully pick myself up, straighten my skewed wig and assess the damage to me' and my new dress so I yelled back- "how dare you. I have cancer. I could even take off my wig and show you"- not my finest hour!! Simon told him off in the car about how you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover etc despite it being after midnight on new years eve and we came tottering out of a restaurant and how i wasn't drunk (white lie- wasn't vomitty drunk). Anyway, by the end of the journey we'd all thought about what we had said and done and apologised to each other and went on our separate ways as better people.
Saturday was a bit of a hungover one. Egg McC muffins were had (see what I did there!!) Forgot how horrible hangovers were but at least I stuck with champagne and wine and left the jaegerbombs well alone so it wasn't too bad.
On Monday we were cultural and went to the national wildlife photographer of the year awards which was fantastic. Highly recommended. We've decided to get a print of a photo each year as simon got an icy landscape one from me' for Christmas last year. This year we have fallen in love with the tortoise from the Seychelles. Look her up- She's awesome!!
As I have been writing this for two days and having just had an x-ray and shauna is approaching me' with the chop, I best be off. Massage up next while I'm hooked up. Lovely.
I hope you all had wonderful new years and look forward to catching up with you in the new year.
Lots of love and kisses
Emx
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