Hi all, Firstly thank you all for your support and kind words. I wasn't fine yesterday but I am today. I have had my blah moment as I call it, where I have cried and cried and been comforted by the boy and am now I am back on track.I have had today off thanks to work to sort out my head and think for the future. My plan is to make lots of exciting plans. To work, to work out and see my friends and family. To go to our house in France with Simon and with my friends. To go to the theatre, to dinner, to get drunk and to eat McDonalds. Not necessarily all at once or in that order. My situation royally sucks and I wish more than anything I could give Simon the holiday he really deserves but alas, it is not to be. Not yet anyway. So we will have to make do with being London bound for the next couple of months. This is hard, this situation, on everyone- even you all I know so I greatly appreciate your love and presents- thanks Gem and Paul. I will be calling on you to fill up my diary with fun and exciting things so no pressure to be individual!!! Well, my Indian takeaway has arrived and my glass of red wine needs filling so I'll be off. The boy has made me a football widow so I am Gossip Girl marathoning it tonight. Don't judge me- I have cancer and still milking it! ;) Love you lots and you have no idea how incredible your emails, texts and calls are to me. Love and kisses Em xxxx
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Today's Update of yesterday's update
Update of Today's Update
Hi all, Okay. I'm going to come right out and say it and stop all the tension. Not as good news as we would have hoped so you have me and my incessant ramblings for a bit longer I'm afraid as my treatment is set to continue. Although the tumour has gone down lots and is basically approx 1cm x 2cm x 2cm from it's original size of a tennis ball, it still has some activity. The pet suv reading which is how much glucose it sucks up, has gone from 26 to 6 which is a considerable decline but is unfortunately not good enough. The fact that the tumour is still there leads to two thought processes- either this last bit is immune to the chemo and has it's own little waste and toxin sorting valve in it's cells which they can sometimes grow, that spits out all the chemo before it can attack. It wouldn't matter the combination of drugs as this mechanism in the cell rejects any foreign entity. The alternative is that it may just need that big blast to kick it up the backside. Similar to when dieting- its that last 1/2 pound that you can't shake after losing 5! Which one it is we don't know and perhaps won't know until we start whichever treatment we start. So that's where my choices come in, each with their own benefits and pitfalls. To spare you all the long discussion, to the advice of prof and support of Amy, simon and the macmillian advisor Russ my decision seems to be a no brainer. Rather than opt for the blasting of chemo which may not even work if this last bit is immune to any chemicals and means I will have to feel as crappy as I did (and lose all my hair again), I am opting for radiotherapy. This is going to mean that I will be attending charring cross hospital each day for a month for my treatment when it begins. Although this does come with an increased risk in breast cancer in later life (1 in 5 rather than 1 in 8) and potential heart problems, it also comes with an 80% success rate which is good enough for me. The radiation will be localised to the small tumour and will be given in short and low doses so to reduce any of the long or short term side effects of which are much less aggressive than if I had high dose chemo and a stem cell transplant. Saying that, those might be on the cards after radiation if I am one of the unlucky 20%. So now I wait. I am being referred to a radiotherapy specialist at charring cross and treatment will start over the next month or so. Sorry I couldn't bring you better news and alas our stonker of a holiday is put on hold maybe until the autumn/ spring but that just means it will be all the sweeter when it comes! Lots of love and kisses Em Xxx Sent from my iPhone
Update 28 or Whatnot!
Hi all,
So d-day is upon us finally. I am sitting perched on Simons lap due to the lack of chairs in the mdu on busy Tuesdays.
So last week saw lots of tests and a little news but nothing we didn't really know before.
Last weekend was spent in kent with si's parents and brother and girlfriend which was lovely and chilled as always. We went to the seaside and consumed disgusting amounts of phenomenal tapas and went home well rested with full bellies. Always the sign of a good weekend.
After a bit of reshuffling of appointments, I had my ct scan on monday and the pet scan on Tuesday at tommys. The pet was super easy this time. I spent the morning downloading games on my iPhone which passed the 90 mins resting before the scan wonderfully. I was very brave and had two cannulas for these tests- one in my left front elbow arm (whatever it's actually called) and my right hand and didn't even cry!! I suppose they are bearable if they are once in a while. It's a bit more stressful when someones coming every day and threatening to take your blood with a sharp pointy stick.
Anyway, we got the results from the ct scan on Tuesday as it was done in the same hospital ie chel west. They told us nothing different than the xrays- that the growth has shrunk considerably but it still there. We just need the pet to tell us whether it is scar tissue or still a bit of the tumour. That news will come in a couple of minutes when Amy arrives and prof gives us the news.
Despite a bit of a meltdown last tuesday eve and Wednesday, I have been feeling fine and not too stressed about this. I've been getting texts and emails of support from friends but honestly haven't felt worried. I figure that this is not like a test i can study for, it's either worked or not. If not, then we deal with that and if it has, then we hand back my disabled parking, book some plane tickets and look forward to my hair growing back- it some places rather than others!!
Fingers crossed one last time hopefully then you can set them free I promise.
I'll let you know the news as soon as I do.
Lots of love
Em
X
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Update Number 28 (actually 27 but who's counting?)
Hi all,
I hope everything is fine and dandy with you all.
I shouldn't speak too soon but I fear we may be coming to the end of my updates which is definitely a good thing for us all and I can get rid of this god complex I have acquired.
Chemo 6 is done and dusted. Still a horrible experience but as with most things easier after a bit of understanding, problem solving and know how, each one became more manageable. Oh and shed loads of drugs! It's amazing how standard and normal it all becomes. I remember crying the first time I was told my neutrophils were low and now prof, shauna, dad and I are taking bets on how low they will be. Prof even taking it further by placing money on his guesses!
Here I am talking wistfully about my cancer experience when it might not even be over. But, and I am not counting my chickens, it is looking good. Dad managed to get a bit more info out of prof- who I am not to call him as it's too formal- so dad got a bit more info from Mark. The last three X-rays show that the tumour has not been shrinking which is not necessarily a bad thing as it does show it is calcifying which means it is starting to crumble and dissipate which is what it does when it starts to die. Obviously we aren't cracking open the champagne until the tests and done and the results are back but the mcknights are quietly pencilling in plans for the next couple of months in our diaries. Including a big, stonker of a trip to Bali and Australia in April and may if all things go according to plan. It's the "we kicked cancer's
ass" plan- me literally and simon by proxy by being my amazing support. I will let you know details when we have the opportunity to book post results and get your advice and opinions. Good things to look forward to.
So at the moment, it between hospital visits I am slowly reintroducing myself back into the world of work. It's all worked out really well as I have a lovely new boss who is just starting so we are learning and re-learning the ropes together. I will be mostly working from home at the moment and sometimes at the office with the balances shifting as I get used to a full day in the office. It's amazing how little strength and stamina I have left. Even walking up stairs and sometimes walking has me out of breath, gagging for a nap and earned me the nick name of makka Pakka for the way I stick out my bottom to help me manoeuvre up stairs- google him and watch him walking and you'll see how sexy I am.
I have thought how silly I was for not maintaining it through daily walks and gentle exercise but then I remember what my body has been through and I am happy that it's been so supportive and hardy so I banish those thoughts. I'll get back into it and have a hotter body than before and back onto the marathons and triathlons. Rock hard abs here I come!! (we'll see how long this lasts!)
So spent valentines day with my honey. We went where we went for new years but I was sensible- hardly drank and wore flats- so no stories of tumbles and abusing/ abusive taxi drivers. It was a lovely evening once you got over the nausea of rows of rose petal filled tables of couples holding hands and gazing into each others eyes. I hate to say it but after a delicious meal and a glass of wine we were under the spell too. It was only ever broken by the pianist in the bar of the restaurant downstairs who was clumsily clanging their way through classic love songs on the piano. Guessing what they were playing was like playing humbugs with a tone deaf person! That had us in fits of giggles and trying to imagine what they looked like- guesses went from a child to a man with fat fingers which explained the occasional missed notes. My guess was a woman and I was right- imagine ginger frizzy hair, a definite owner of cats and teacher of piano lessons. To prevent myself sound like a complete meany, she was very sweet and gave us both big smiles as we each went to the toilets downstairs. Stuff the delicious crab tortellini and the yummy sea bass- she made the evening!!!
Amy and I are orphans again as mum and dad have abandoned us and jetted back to the sunshine for a couple of weeks. Talk about child abuse! I hung out with alfred on Saturday eve and he is doing well. Just about walking- it's taken a little while but bigger babies always do plus as he can almost have a conversation and can just about recite the full works of Shakespeare, what's a bit of walking when crawling works just as well? I'll put a video I took of him being such a little boy on the blog- he is laughing at his own farts! Very mature Alfred!
Also I'll add some pictures of Saturday night. Let's just say some yummy Italian food and lots of red wine combined with an iPhone and my wigs equals some very amusing pictures. Sorry ad and al- i'm not really! Everyone else be warned, I'm working through my phonebook to get pictures of everyone as a long haired brunette!
(NB: sorry can't do it. The pictures will remain for my personal amusement only!!)
The ct scan is next tuesday and the pet should be soon after so I promise to write the results as soon as I get them to avoid hate mail due to my lack of updates. Fingers crossed and we'll speak then my lovelies.
Hugs and kisses
Lots of love
Em xxx
Ps sitting in the hospital writing this one on my iPhone which has the lovely knack of remembering only the email addresses it wants so please forward it on if you notice i've missed someone off. Cheers x
Sent from my iPhone
I hope everything is fine and dandy with you all.
I shouldn't speak too soon but I fear we may be coming to the end of my updates which is definitely a good thing for us all and I can get rid of this god complex I have acquired.
Chemo 6 is done and dusted. Still a horrible experience but as with most things easier after a bit of understanding, problem solving and know how, each one became more manageable. Oh and shed loads of drugs! It's amazing how standard and normal it all becomes. I remember crying the first time I was told my neutrophils were low and now prof, shauna, dad and I are taking bets on how low they will be. Prof even taking it further by placing money on his guesses!
Here I am talking wistfully about my cancer experience when it might not even be over. But, and I am not counting my chickens, it is looking good. Dad managed to get a bit more info out of prof- who I am not to call him as it's too formal- so dad got a bit more info from Mark. The last three X-rays show that the tumour has not been shrinking which is not necessarily a bad thing as it does show it is calcifying which means it is starting to crumble and dissipate which is what it does when it starts to die. Obviously we aren't cracking open the champagne until the tests and done and the results are back but the mcknights are quietly pencilling in plans for the next couple of months in our diaries. Including a big, stonker of a trip to Bali and Australia in April and may if all things go according to plan. It's the "we kicked cancer's
ass" plan- me literally and simon by proxy by being my amazing support. I will let you know details when we have the opportunity to book post results and get your advice and opinions. Good things to look forward to.
So at the moment, it between hospital visits I am slowly reintroducing myself back into the world of work. It's all worked out really well as I have a lovely new boss who is just starting so we are learning and re-learning the ropes together. I will be mostly working from home at the moment and sometimes at the office with the balances shifting as I get used to a full day in the office. It's amazing how little strength and stamina I have left. Even walking up stairs and sometimes walking has me out of breath, gagging for a nap and earned me the nick name of makka Pakka for the way I stick out my bottom to help me manoeuvre up stairs- google him and watch him walking and you'll see how sexy I am.
I have thought how silly I was for not maintaining it through daily walks and gentle exercise but then I remember what my body has been through and I am happy that it's been so supportive and hardy so I banish those thoughts. I'll get back into it and have a hotter body than before and back onto the marathons and triathlons. Rock hard abs here I come!! (we'll see how long this lasts!)
So spent valentines day with my honey. We went where we went for new years but I was sensible- hardly drank and wore flats- so no stories of tumbles and abusing/ abusive taxi drivers. It was a lovely evening once you got over the nausea of rows of rose petal filled tables of couples holding hands and gazing into each others eyes. I hate to say it but after a delicious meal and a glass of wine we were under the spell too. It was only ever broken by the pianist in the bar of the restaurant downstairs who was clumsily clanging their way through classic love songs on the piano. Guessing what they were playing was like playing humbugs with a tone deaf person! That had us in fits of giggles and trying to imagine what they looked like- guesses went from a child to a man with fat fingers which explained the occasional missed notes. My guess was a woman and I was right- imagine ginger frizzy hair, a definite owner of cats and teacher of piano lessons. To prevent myself sound like a complete meany, she was very sweet and gave us both big smiles as we each went to the toilets downstairs. Stuff the delicious crab tortellini and the yummy sea bass- she made the evening!!!
Amy and I are orphans again as mum and dad have abandoned us and jetted back to the sunshine for a couple of weeks. Talk about child abuse! I hung out with alfred on Saturday eve and he is doing well. Just about walking- it's taken a little while but bigger babies always do plus as he can almost have a conversation and can just about recite the full works of Shakespeare, what's a bit of walking when crawling works just as well? I'll put a video I took of him being such a little boy on the blog- he is laughing at his own farts! Very mature Alfred!
Also I'll add some pictures of Saturday night. Let's just say some yummy Italian food and lots of red wine combined with an iPhone and my wigs equals some very amusing pictures. Sorry ad and al- i'm not really! Everyone else be warned, I'm working through my phonebook to get pictures of everyone as a long haired brunette!
(NB: sorry can't do it. The pictures will remain for my personal amusement only!!)
The ct scan is next tuesday and the pet should be soon after so I promise to write the results as soon as I get them to avoid hate mail due to my lack of updates. Fingers crossed and we'll speak then my lovelies.
Hugs and kisses
Lots of love
Em xxx
Ps sitting in the hospital writing this one on my iPhone which has the lovely knack of remembering only the email addresses it wants so please forward it on if you notice i've missed someone off. Cheers x
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Update Number 26
Sent 27/1/2011
Dear all,
Sorry I have been AWOL but I assure you that no news is good news or should I say no news is no news!
I honestly don't know where this past fortnight has gone. I say fortnight because the first week after chemo I am no good to anyone. Just an eating and sleeping monster thanks to the steroids which makes my appetite insatiable and me' unable to sleep so a sleeping pill addict. I can tell you simon is a very lucky boy that week- I am hot stuff!
Actually, in the grand scheme of things this chemo has been the best. The side effects I've had like the chronic indigestion haven't been too bad. Certainly not like chemo 3 when i couldn't stop vomiting. Who knew aniseed pepto bismal would be my chemo lifesaver. With that breath, again lucky boy simon.
Week two consisted of lots of injections. My neutrophils were 0.8 when I went back in a week after chemo. They should be 2 to 8 so I was put on 5 sets of gcsf and they dropped to 0.1 which should not happen. Fun and games. Two more injections followed on wed and thurs of last week which definitely worked- boy did I ache. I know how Harry potter felt when he had to grow new bones as I'm sure that's what was happening to me. I was so achey I could barely move and my neutrophils jumped up to 36! I was so healthy I could practically eat off the pavement so the weekend I went a bit nuts.
On friday night, I had wine and take away sushi (only the cooked stuff though- the raw stuff will have to wait a little longer) with a friend. Then went selfridges shopping on Saturday morning with mum and Amy. My first trip on public transport since September and I had truly forgotten how lovely it was- all those pleasant people with hacking coughs and loud music. Shopping was funded by a selfridges voucher christmas present from our generous dad and I got some very cool converse and some make up for when I venture back into the world. I don't think my transparent cancer glow will be acceptable once I am cured. After that we ventured to eight over eight for a girly lunch. Many an hour and many a pound were spent on a delicious lunch with wine- a couple of bottles to be precise. I went home to my injured boyfriend who had had a football accident the week before, had lots of water and sobered up so felt fine the next morning to start again. On Sunday, popped on the long wig and a nice dress and met some friends for lunch. Again lots of wine with some yummy food and great company though i have to apologise for pulling the cancer card to get the last spring roll. That was a cheap move!!
It was a lovely weekend albeit a busy one and I have been absolutely knackered this week. Good to see the old me' is still there though and released with the popping of a cork, hidden under the lack of hair and cancer chat.
I am currently sitting in the hospital, just having had a reflexology session (some perks to spending hours in the hospital) and hooked into a drip for the r of my r-chop. My neutrophils have dropped again that my last and final chemo has been postponed to Monday after a couple more of those little injections from nurse simon. Fingers crossed that this is the last. I do have a bit of news in that there is a slight plan albeit a sketchy one. Four weeks after this chemo I am booked in for a ct and pet scan. There were queries about whether the pet scan was necessary but I'm sorry fellow taxpayers, I insisted. I'd rather know 100% that I have the all clear than there be any shadow of a doubt. But saying that, it's good news that they only wanted a basic scan- fingers crossed. Then after that we will know a bit more about the future and I can start making plans for my life- holidays, dinners, typical 27 year old stuff rather than the geriatric lifestyle I'm accustomed too.
I surprisingly (or maybe not) got a bit teary about the change my life is going to take. I've gotten used to the friendly faces at chelsea and westminster and my relaxed routine. As although I would much rather be healthy, living a normal life and back at work, this has been my life for 6 months so the transition back may be a little trickier. This is completely normal and I have been warned that it's the time after the treatment that can be the most difficult to digest. Saying that, all this is from the girl who had cabin fever and was so frustrated about still being in this cancer situation a couple of weeks ago. I can tend to be a bit fluctuating so once again lucky simon, mum and dad.
Apart from all that life and health have been good. Perhaps I shouldn't say this but I had a mishap the other day. After noticing a bit of skin pigmentation on my neck, I brought it up with shauna, my wonderful chemo nurse. She said it could have been brought on my the chemo but after a bit of further investigation with some water and a gauze, the strange pigmentation was exposed as dirt! How disgusting am I!!! I do bathe every day, sometimes twice but to my credit (okay I am clutching at straws) my hickmann line comes up to my neck and I'm a bit paranoid of it so try and avoid looking at it let alone touch or wash it. I'm coming across as a bit of a state- honestly I'm looking after myself and do scrub up nicely. Well I try.
I hope you are all well and keeping busy and again, hope to catch up with you all when all this is over.
Love and kisses and will keep you informed.
Love em xxxx
Sent from my iPhone
Dear all,
Sorry I have been AWOL but I assure you that no news is good news or should I say no news is no news!
I honestly don't know where this past fortnight has gone. I say fortnight because the first week after chemo I am no good to anyone. Just an eating and sleeping monster thanks to the steroids which makes my appetite insatiable and me' unable to sleep so a sleeping pill addict. I can tell you simon is a very lucky boy that week- I am hot stuff!
Actually, in the grand scheme of things this chemo has been the best. The side effects I've had like the chronic indigestion haven't been too bad. Certainly not like chemo 3 when i couldn't stop vomiting. Who knew aniseed pepto bismal would be my chemo lifesaver. With that breath, again lucky boy simon.
Week two consisted of lots of injections. My neutrophils were 0.8 when I went back in a week after chemo. They should be 2 to 8 so I was put on 5 sets of gcsf and they dropped to 0.1 which should not happen. Fun and games. Two more injections followed on wed and thurs of last week which definitely worked- boy did I ache. I know how Harry potter felt when he had to grow new bones as I'm sure that's what was happening to me. I was so achey I could barely move and my neutrophils jumped up to 36! I was so healthy I could practically eat off the pavement so the weekend I went a bit nuts.
On friday night, I had wine and take away sushi (only the cooked stuff though- the raw stuff will have to wait a little longer) with a friend. Then went selfridges shopping on Saturday morning with mum and Amy. My first trip on public transport since September and I had truly forgotten how lovely it was- all those pleasant people with hacking coughs and loud music. Shopping was funded by a selfridges voucher christmas present from our generous dad and I got some very cool converse and some make up for when I venture back into the world. I don't think my transparent cancer glow will be acceptable once I am cured. After that we ventured to eight over eight for a girly lunch. Many an hour and many a pound were spent on a delicious lunch with wine- a couple of bottles to be precise. I went home to my injured boyfriend who had had a football accident the week before, had lots of water and sobered up so felt fine the next morning to start again. On Sunday, popped on the long wig and a nice dress and met some friends for lunch. Again lots of wine with some yummy food and great company though i have to apologise for pulling the cancer card to get the last spring roll. That was a cheap move!!
It was a lovely weekend albeit a busy one and I have been absolutely knackered this week. Good to see the old me' is still there though and released with the popping of a cork, hidden under the lack of hair and cancer chat.
I am currently sitting in the hospital, just having had a reflexology session (some perks to spending hours in the hospital) and hooked into a drip for the r of my r-chop. My neutrophils have dropped again that my last and final chemo has been postponed to Monday after a couple more of those little injections from nurse simon. Fingers crossed that this is the last. I do have a bit of news in that there is a slight plan albeit a sketchy one. Four weeks after this chemo I am booked in for a ct and pet scan. There were queries about whether the pet scan was necessary but I'm sorry fellow taxpayers, I insisted. I'd rather know 100% that I have the all clear than there be any shadow of a doubt. But saying that, it's good news that they only wanted a basic scan- fingers crossed. Then after that we will know a bit more about the future and I can start making plans for my life- holidays, dinners, typical 27 year old stuff rather than the geriatric lifestyle I'm accustomed too.
I surprisingly (or maybe not) got a bit teary about the change my life is going to take. I've gotten used to the friendly faces at chelsea and westminster and my relaxed routine. As although I would much rather be healthy, living a normal life and back at work, this has been my life for 6 months so the transition back may be a little trickier. This is completely normal and I have been warned that it's the time after the treatment that can be the most difficult to digest. Saying that, all this is from the girl who had cabin fever and was so frustrated about still being in this cancer situation a couple of weeks ago. I can tend to be a bit fluctuating so once again lucky simon, mum and dad.
Apart from all that life and health have been good. Perhaps I shouldn't say this but I had a mishap the other day. After noticing a bit of skin pigmentation on my neck, I brought it up with shauna, my wonderful chemo nurse. She said it could have been brought on my the chemo but after a bit of further investigation with some water and a gauze, the strange pigmentation was exposed as dirt! How disgusting am I!!! I do bathe every day, sometimes twice but to my credit (okay I am clutching at straws) my hickmann line comes up to my neck and I'm a bit paranoid of it so try and avoid looking at it let alone touch or wash it. I'm coming across as a bit of a state- honestly I'm looking after myself and do scrub up nicely. Well I try.
I hope you are all well and keeping busy and again, hope to catch up with you all when all this is over.
Love and kisses and will keep you informed.
Love em xxxx
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, 10 January 2011
Update Number 25
Sent: Friday 7th Jan
Hi all,
(this is a two dayer- first part started yesterday Thursday and finished today)
So I am waiting in hospital and it's super busy so despite arriving at 9am I have yet to start chemo and it's now 11. Not to worry though as dad, grazia and Sophie Harris have been keeping me' busy and out of trouble.
Being rubbish at maths i miscalculated the days and arrived on Tues. to be poisoned but was told I was a couple of days premature as it had to be 21 days after the last chemo. The delay has done me' well though as I tend to get a little apprehensive before chemo as I'm unsure whether the cancer gods will be kind or in a bad mood however this time as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a faint and distant light, I'm gagging to have it. Only one more my friends. Can't wait. Okay maybe not but this is the first big goalpost and we'll face the next as it comes.
This is 11 hours later. So this morning shauna (my wonderful chemo nurse) came up and asked whether I would mind having the yukky I.T (where they to a lumbar puncture into your spine to put some of the chemo in- you remember and you will be tested on all these terms at a later date) today as Shiros the doctor who does them is super busy tomorrow (Friday when I was meant to have it) so my first reaction was to make sure I would still get drugs- yes- so I rounded the I.T brigade of simon and mum to join us in the hospital for the appointment at 3. As it was 1pm and I was all done, the afternoon was filled with lunch with my dad and Sophie Harris who was my new chemo buddy for the day. They swapped babysitting duties and took me' to my doom. Did I mention how much I hate this bit??!!! Anyhoo, was allowed lots of drugs as I coped well, unlike last time when I almost stopped breathing as I was so sedated (weird cause I'd only had a small dose). This time I actually slept or passed out I should say. Woop woop! I've got to remember these for boring dinner parties or long flights and other times when you need to be knocked out. Might keep the Hickman line just for it. So just the chop and a massage tomorrow now. Much nicer Friday.
Enough of boring cancer chat. My new years was far more interesting. Si and I went to our lovely restaurant for a 9.30 sit down which was better as there was less time for us old people to wait for midnight. So I wore a new dress, the short wig for a change and some ridiculous high heels which looked fabulous accept when I tried to walk or negotiate stairs or even stand. Glancing over the cocktails list, I thought sod it. I'm getting pissed tonight. So I order a Bellini and then another and then a bottle of red so was very merry in no time thanks to my drink free 4 months. The food was delish and we saw the new years in with some champagne, a bit of pashing and a jazz band which was being overrun by revellers who had obviously taken the 6.30pm sitting and been drinking the yummy cocktails ever since. The gypsy kings will never sound the same again! Our carriage picked us up at 12.30 and as I tottered around on my high heels, I lost my footing and tumbled to the ground right in front of the minicab- part drink related, part high heels on uneven cobbles. Not best pleased the driver rolled down the window and yelled quite aggressively that he wasn't having no drunk girl who vomits in his cab. At this point, I was trying to gracefully pick myself up, straighten my skewed wig and assess the damage to me' and my new dress so I yelled back- "how dare you. I have cancer. I could even take off my wig and show you"- not my finest hour!! Simon told him off in the car about how you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover etc despite it being after midnight on new years eve and we came tottering out of a restaurant and how i wasn't drunk (white lie- wasn't vomitty drunk). Anyway, by the end of the journey we'd all thought about what we had said and done and apologised to each other and went on our separate ways as better people.
Saturday was a bit of a hungover one. Egg McC muffins were had (see what I did there!!) Forgot how horrible hangovers were but at least I stuck with champagne and wine and left the jaegerbombs well alone so it wasn't too bad.
On Monday we were cultural and went to the national wildlife photographer of the year awards which was fantastic. Highly recommended. We've decided to get a print of a photo each year as simon got an icy landscape one from me' for Christmas last year. This year we have fallen in love with the tortoise from the Seychelles. Look her up- She's awesome!!
As I have been writing this for two days and having just had an x-ray and shauna is approaching me' with the chop, I best be off. Massage up next while I'm hooked up. Lovely.
I hope you all had wonderful new years and look forward to catching up with you in the new year.
Lots of love and kisses
Emx
Hi all,
(this is a two dayer- first part started yesterday Thursday and finished today)
So I am waiting in hospital and it's super busy so despite arriving at 9am I have yet to start chemo and it's now 11. Not to worry though as dad, grazia and Sophie Harris have been keeping me' busy and out of trouble.
Being rubbish at maths i miscalculated the days and arrived on Tues. to be poisoned but was told I was a couple of days premature as it had to be 21 days after the last chemo. The delay has done me' well though as I tend to get a little apprehensive before chemo as I'm unsure whether the cancer gods will be kind or in a bad mood however this time as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a faint and distant light, I'm gagging to have it. Only one more my friends. Can't wait. Okay maybe not but this is the first big goalpost and we'll face the next as it comes.
This is 11 hours later. So this morning shauna (my wonderful chemo nurse) came up and asked whether I would mind having the yukky I.T (where they to a lumbar puncture into your spine to put some of the chemo in- you remember and you will be tested on all these terms at a later date) today as Shiros the doctor who does them is super busy tomorrow (Friday when I was meant to have it) so my first reaction was to make sure I would still get drugs- yes- so I rounded the I.T brigade of simon and mum to join us in the hospital for the appointment at 3. As it was 1pm and I was all done, the afternoon was filled with lunch with my dad and Sophie Harris who was my new chemo buddy for the day. They swapped babysitting duties and took me' to my doom. Did I mention how much I hate this bit??!!! Anyhoo, was allowed lots of drugs as I coped well, unlike last time when I almost stopped breathing as I was so sedated (weird cause I'd only had a small dose). This time I actually slept or passed out I should say. Woop woop! I've got to remember these for boring dinner parties or long flights and other times when you need to be knocked out. Might keep the Hickman line just for it. So just the chop and a massage tomorrow now. Much nicer Friday.
Enough of boring cancer chat. My new years was far more interesting. Si and I went to our lovely restaurant for a 9.30 sit down which was better as there was less time for us old people to wait for midnight. So I wore a new dress, the short wig for a change and some ridiculous high heels which looked fabulous accept when I tried to walk or negotiate stairs or even stand. Glancing over the cocktails list, I thought sod it. I'm getting pissed tonight. So I order a Bellini and then another and then a bottle of red so was very merry in no time thanks to my drink free 4 months. The food was delish and we saw the new years in with some champagne, a bit of pashing and a jazz band which was being overrun by revellers who had obviously taken the 6.30pm sitting and been drinking the yummy cocktails ever since. The gypsy kings will never sound the same again! Our carriage picked us up at 12.30 and as I tottered around on my high heels, I lost my footing and tumbled to the ground right in front of the minicab- part drink related, part high heels on uneven cobbles. Not best pleased the driver rolled down the window and yelled quite aggressively that he wasn't having no drunk girl who vomits in his cab. At this point, I was trying to gracefully pick myself up, straighten my skewed wig and assess the damage to me' and my new dress so I yelled back- "how dare you. I have cancer. I could even take off my wig and show you"- not my finest hour!! Simon told him off in the car about how you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover etc despite it being after midnight on new years eve and we came tottering out of a restaurant and how i wasn't drunk (white lie- wasn't vomitty drunk). Anyway, by the end of the journey we'd all thought about what we had said and done and apologised to each other and went on our separate ways as better people.
Saturday was a bit of a hungover one. Egg McC muffins were had (see what I did there!!) Forgot how horrible hangovers were but at least I stuck with champagne and wine and left the jaegerbombs well alone so it wasn't too bad.
On Monday we were cultural and went to the national wildlife photographer of the year awards which was fantastic. Highly recommended. We've decided to get a print of a photo each year as simon got an icy landscape one from me' for Christmas last year. This year we have fallen in love with the tortoise from the Seychelles. Look her up- She's awesome!!
As I have been writing this for two days and having just had an x-ray and shauna is approaching me' with the chop, I best be off. Massage up next while I'm hooked up. Lovely.
I hope you all had wonderful new years and look forward to catching up with you in the new year.
Lots of love and kisses
Emx
Friday, 31 December 2010
Update 24
Hi all,
I hope you had wonderful Christmas' with your families and loved ones.
I was very fortunate to have a great illness free time with my family and Simon's family.
After a delayed start for chemo on Friday, I had the best chemo I had so far. I don't know whether it was mind over matter as I was determined not to be ill over Christmas or the fact that we seem to have all drugs working to make me well, but whatever it was it worked. I am not questioning just hoping that the next one follows suit!
So apart from almost fainting in Oliver Bonas due to lack of food, my pre- Christmas preparations were great and all presents arrived safe and sound. Our Christmas Tree, despite lacking a star (honestly, there were no nice ones left in London!) was filled with tinsel, baubles and sparkling lights- picture attached. It was my first grown up one so I am a little biased.
Christmas day involved me waking up at 5am and behaving like a small child until Simon woke up and allowed us to open our presents. I was the proud recipient of a number of fantastic presents including a beautiful heart necklace, Jamie's cookbook and joseph joseph nesting bowls to name a few. I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but I had my pressies were sh*t hot as I had more than enough time to plan and pur-chase my presents. The proof is in the pudding- look at Alfred when he met his present- Iggle Piggle on the blog.
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| Love or Fear? or Both? |
So obviously next we ventured over to Amy and Sam's for Christmas lunch with them and Alfred and Mum and Dad and a family friend Emily.
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| Mum and Emily - Cheers!! |
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| Not sure why we have each other in a romantic headlock |
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| The Boys |
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| Amy opening Alfred's 3000 presents |
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| Christmas lunch - Alfred style |
We had a lovely day but we all sorely missed Max who should and would have joined us. Sam cooked up a feast and we left very full and satisfied after kicking the boy's asses at "Scene It". The next day we headed to Simon's parents for more food and presents and some games of "hum-bugs" which I rocked at. Sobriety definitely has its benefits when it comes to my competitive nature.
Monday involved the whole Knight family congregating at the head matriarch and patriarch's house for more food and games. It was a wonderfully loud and conversation filled day as only the Knights can do!!! I loved it and outlasted Simon and his parents. Thankfully Grandpa Knight forgot that I promised to try some of his lamb next time I came over- dodged a bullet there!
After that and back to London and to the hospital. My neutrophils were fine and dandy thanks to lots of little Christmas injections Simon had been giving to me. So all good on that part.
So we are avoiding the crowds tonight by filling the evening with a lovely dinner with my gorgeous boyfriend at a local restaurant where we will see in the new year with a little champagne and some jazz. Loverly.
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| New Years McKnight style - woop woop! |
Next chemo is on Tuesday and Wednesday so fingers crossed.
Have a Happy New Year and see you in 2011
2010- I got cancer
2011- I got rid of it!
Lots of love and kisses
Em
X
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Update Number 23
Hi all,
I have been a bit AWOL since my last update but trust me no news is good news and I thought boring you with my daily nap updates would be a bit narcissistic!
All is good. Hospital day yesterday and meant to be the start of Chemo 4 but alas, those damn neutrophils were too low so I am scheduled in for Friday. Fingers crossed. I never thought I would be in the hospital begging my lovely Macmillian Nurse, Shauna and The Prof for Chemo but if I don't have it this week then my Christmas day will be a bit of a challenge. So again with the white blood cells dance people, my Christmas depends on it. So I have had the non-chemo part of my chemo, the Rituximab which is the lengthy part - CHECK, and the rest of the week follows two more injections for my neutrophils yesterday- CHECK, today- CHECK. Day off on Thursday to "recover" then chemo 4 and lots of drugs on Friday.
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| The CT Scan - Not mine |
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| A PET Scan - Again not mine so ignore the arrow! |
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| You - hee hee!! |
So Bower introduced me to 37 year old Flip who was celebrating her 4th year anniversary in remission. Our stories are very similar, same cancer, same place, same effects on our hearts although she had fluid in her lungs and her heart kept filling up so she had a much more difficult time in the early stages- I thought 2 biopsies were bad! However, there were major differences, in that she was given the option of a stem cell transplant which would almost certainly mean a cancer free life so she jumped on it. Being four years earlier, I believe she looks bad with hazy rose tinted glasses and I know that all people react differently to the drugs but she massively downplays her chemo as nothing more than a bad headache. But you know what? Absolutely fair enough. I hope that I am not sitting there in 4 years and reminiscing about the chemo enough to remember how yucky it is. I want to focus on the recovery and the wonderful things that have come out of it like reminding me how amazing my family, boyfriend and friends are- not that I needed reminding of course! We plan to go for a celebratory drink when I am cured and we can cheers our champagne to our recoveries.
I've had some very interesting conversations with Bower and learnt a lot about cancer. I think the time came when I needed answers to my millions of questions- What is cancer? How old is cancer? Did I do anything to cause my cancer? Very unlike me, the answers to those questions are here in a very simple way, minus Bower's 5 minute pauses. If you aren't interested, skip the next paragraph. I found it fascinating but of course as it's about me, I would!
Basically cancer occurs when the cells of the body in an uncontrolled manner creating a lump called a tumour.
Cancer is traced back to the Greeks and the starsigns- cancer is the crab after the crab-like features of breast cancer on the breast, but the first documented cases of cancer come from the Egyptians who wrote about breast cancer. However, Bower has a picture of a dinosaur skeleton where it's tail is malformed due to a tumour growth. As Bower puts it, as long as there is life, cells and evolution there is cancer. There cannot be progression without it. When it's put like that it's hard to be angry or pissed off about my situation especially as 1 in 3 people will suffer from it.
Finally, cancer is formed in two main strains- external or internal. Externally there are carcinogenic things around us all the time but most of them do not have the energy to shift good cells into mutated ones even with prolonged exposure. For example, your mobile phone won't cause a brain tumour but if you are already susceptible to a brain tumour (through internal reasons) it may cause the tumour to grow on the side you most hold your phone. The internal factors can be broken down into three; biology- genetics can play a part in cancers but only 5% and mainly with breast cancer also both parents need to be carriers. This isn't the case with my type. Chemistry- some illnesses can increase your chances for non-hodgkins (NHL) namely glandular fever- the kissing disease which I do not have as well. Physics- I'm not obese, I eat well, I don't drink alot or smoke anymore (used to occasionally). I'm young and a woman (NHL is more common in men) so in theory everything should be dandy. There are known causes for cancer but it is very hard to pinpoint causes in an individual cases. To plagiarize the internet "Doctors can seldom explain why one person gets non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and another does not. It is clear, however, that cancer is not caused by an injury, and is not contagious; no one can "catch" non-Hodgkin's lymphoma from another person." There you go- fascinating but pretty useless!! ha ha!!
Wow! Long email about cancer!!
A little more news, little Alfred was in hospital last week. He is home and well now but came down with a throat infection and very high temperature together with his eczema, he was a poorly little bunny. He and Amy spent three days in St Vincents in Tooting and had a little private room with her bed beside his cot- not that either got much sleep. He had massive cabin fever by the end and is loving being out and about with Nanny and Poppa T. I believe he is currently feeding the ducks (and himself- he doesn't quite get it yet) in Wandsworth. I babysat him on Monday and he was on great form. He knows me and who I am and says Emma whenever the phone rings. He is delicious- I can't wait until Christmas day. It's not his first but the first he will remember. Think poor Amy and Sam need a couple a drama free year next year. At least they have had their three things - me, Max and Alfred so that should be the end of it.
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| So so tired after a long day at the hospital - The Eastalls |
Also this week, I went to work, had lunch with some friends at 8 over 8, had my work Christmas dinner, went to borough market, bought our Christmas tree (it's bit wonky and we probably overpaid but it's lush and our first christmas tree together so we love it), I'm sure I did more, I just have a sieve for a brain at the moment (resist the urge to comment please).
So with two more days of sanity left, there are christmas presents that need to be wrapped so I best be off.
This will go on the blog as usual - taurusnotcancer.blogspot,com if you forgot.
Thanks once again for all your support and love, even if I don't get back to you please know that it is so appreciated.
Lots of hugs and kisses and see you on the otherside of Chemo 4 (phew...almost there)
Em
XXX
Here's some gems from Alfred-
Here's some gems from Alfred-
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| strange boy! |
I love sausage, mash and peas
Alfred learning to walk....getting there
What noise does a lion make?
Alfred and Simon dancing and playing
How Alfred remembers Simon from the above and me
and it's all about Simon- he loves him!!!
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Update Number 22
Hi all,
It's been a very long week but I'm finally back and myself after Chemo 3. Done and ticked off. Half way there.
This week has been a tough one as not only I felt rubbish after the chemo but the steroids I have to take for 5 days after, greatly affected my tummy with acid reflux. So Monday started by me vomiting and pretty much continued with constant nausea and dry heaving until I started feeling better on Friday. All that and the lack of food which obviously made me really weak ,together with normal fatigue of the chemo meant that I didn't really get up to much this week. I had a couple of visitors to keep me sane and Simon worked from home on Thursday and Friday to be my amazing carer when I couldn't really look after myself. Poor mum and dad were hearing all about this from Noosa, not being able to help physically but offering me and Simon comfort on the brief moments I was able to speak to them. Unfortunately, this is however, completely normal as the steroids are nasty but essential and they have given me a pill (charcoal or something) which I take all the time now- I would have had injections or anything to prevent the nausea! Other than that- all good for my health.
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| My carer Simon with dinner last week - yum! |
But alas, this is not a grumpy email as I am so so much better. My beautiful crisp and sunny today consisted of waking up late, being given an egg muffin by my lovely boyfriend (second day running I might add!), followed by a Skype tour of my parent's new pad. We then went out to Clapham Old Town Farmer's Market and picked up some cupcakes, then went for a stroll on Northcote Road and a drink with some good friends who brought me jelly belly's- thanks Lu! My evening consisted of Fish and Chips and snuggling - my perfect day! You certainly appreciate feeling better once you have been feeling crap for about 2 weeks including my lovely hospital visit last week. Long wig joined Simon and I on our daytime date and for the first time in ages I felt like a normal girl with her normal boyfriend. Poor Simon has been walking about on eggshells as I was like Volcano Eykafallajokull (could blow at any time) and refused to be touched even a little bit so he was grateful to have his girlfriend back this weekend.
Alfredo came to visit on Tuesday and although he was a big bundle of energy who I could only watch crawl around the flat like Tasmanian devil, we did manage a small amount of child abuse by making him try on all the hats I have been given. We managed to snap most of the hats before meltdown but unfortunately not all so please see the blog for the results. (Please feel free to post some comments as I'm sure Simon and I haven't done him justice.)
I have now officially on my way to a sugar induced coma (really good for the stomach Emma!) and I have run out of things to say, so I will leave you be and wishing you a very happy week.
Wrap up warm
Lots of love and kisses
Em
XX
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| This is the way he rolls at his crib with his hos... |
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| My name is Henrik and I am from Amshterdam |
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| "Duuuuude, did you see that smokin' hot mama?" |
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| The only non hat- my sick bucket so of course, his favourite... |
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| Mama's favourite too! |
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| "I'm a little teapot, short and stout..." |
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| "Please mama. Can I have some more?" |
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| "No woman, no cry".... not so much! |
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| "This is not 100% cashmere...waaahhhh!" |
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| "This water is not 10 degrees. I ONLY drink water at 10 degrees" |
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| "...and I did it myyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyy...." |
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Update Number 21
Another update as I am feeling generous this week but only a short one.
I am home. I was given the all clear this morning and they found nothing which is insanely common as there are millions of types of bugs and as they couldn't narrow it down they just gave me' broad spectrum antibiotics which seem to have done the trick!!
I was so well that i started on the first and most lengthly section of chemo at 1h30- the R of R-CHOP so only need chop tomorrow which are 10 mins, 20 mins and 40 mins followed by though which shall not be named. I should be out of the hospital tomorrow in a few less hours than I would be. Im going to visit little Aimee as well from the ward too. She was diagnosis of lupus which I think is going to be a bit of a longer and tougher journey than me which is a big shame but at least she has an answer- the lack of answers is the most difficult.
Mum and dad have gone off to Aus tonight so will be reading this in 12 hours when they land in Singapore. As hard as it was to get on that plane for them and leave me, Amy and Alfred behind they really needed to go and move out of their rental house and into their new home which they have completely renovated whist being super parents in London for us all. They go to noosa for a bit of rest and cancer free time which they unquestionably deserve. But this means there are some vacant positions available: "secretary" "driver", "cleaner" "washer" "cook" "counsellor" and "babysitter" and thats just for me! Applications to the email above.
There is also another addition to the mccknight household, drum roll please, long brown wig!!!!! Some very old family friends (eekk not too old- oops!) from Washington extremely kindly purchased it as a present to me and I absolutely adore it. For some reason it fits much better than the other one, which I am slightly bored of because it is "so me'" and I think looks a darn lot better. In fact it has inspired me to work harder so i can employ a minion to do my hair exactly like it when it grows long enough!! So dear friends and family if you see simon giving a kiss to a long haired stunning brunette on the street, think twice before kicking him in the gonads as it that stunner may be me!!
Thank you for all your "grow blood cells grow" celebrations- they worked!! My neutrophils were the highest they've ever been at 40!!! Good work team!
Right off to be drugged now with my rohypnil (sp) for a good nights sleep and we'll speak on the other side of chemo 3.
Lots of love and kisses to you all
Em xx
I am home. I was given the all clear this morning and they found nothing which is insanely common as there are millions of types of bugs and as they couldn't narrow it down they just gave me' broad spectrum antibiotics which seem to have done the trick!!
There was a little battle between the ward boss Mr Steel (who looked like a cross between an 70s porn star with a creepy moustache and dave grohl with a rock star moustache- between you and me a strangely sexy mix- i never did get the courage up to ask if this was a movember moment or a permanent fixture to his face) and bower boss as the ward boss tried to discharge me last night and at every possibility as to be honest I was a lot more well than most people in there and I was using up precious bed space but what bower wants bower gets so i was dismissed on his orders.
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| Mmmm... 70s Porn Star |
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| Mmmm... Dave Grohl |
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| The infamous Prof Bower!!!! |
I was so well that i started on the first and most lengthly section of chemo at 1h30- the R of R-CHOP so only need chop tomorrow which are 10 mins, 20 mins and 40 mins followed by though which shall not be named. I should be out of the hospital tomorrow in a few less hours than I would be. Im going to visit little Aimee as well from the ward too. She was diagnosis of lupus which I think is going to be a bit of a longer and tougher journey than me which is a big shame but at least she has an answer- the lack of answers is the most difficult.
Mum and dad have gone off to Aus tonight so will be reading this in 12 hours when they land in Singapore. As hard as it was to get on that plane for them and leave me, Amy and Alfred behind they really needed to go and move out of their rental house and into their new home which they have completely renovated whist being super parents in London for us all. They go to noosa for a bit of rest and cancer free time which they unquestionably deserve. But this means there are some vacant positions available: "secretary" "driver", "cleaner" "washer" "cook" "counsellor" and "babysitter" and thats just for me! Applications to the email above.
There is also another addition to the mccknight household, drum roll please, long brown wig!!!!! Some very old family friends (eekk not too old- oops!) from Washington extremely kindly purchased it as a present to me and I absolutely adore it. For some reason it fits much better than the other one, which I am slightly bored of because it is "so me'" and I think looks a darn lot better. In fact it has inspired me to work harder so i can employ a minion to do my hair exactly like it when it grows long enough!! So dear friends and family if you see simon giving a kiss to a long haired stunning brunette on the street, think twice before kicking him in the gonads as it that stunner may be me!!
Thank you for all your "grow blood cells grow" celebrations- they worked!! My neutrophils were the highest they've ever been at 40!!! Good work team!
Right off to be drugged now with my rohypnil (sp) for a good nights sleep and we'll speak on the other side of chemo 3.
Lots of love and kisses to you all
Em xx
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Update Number 20
Hi all,
Quick update to easy your worries as I know you are all super worried!!
Still here in aau in Chelsea and Westminster- should be in Thomas maccauley but there's no room. Feeling much better but not 100%. My fever has stabilised and my bloods and everything are fine but now I am off the antibiotics, I need to be 'normal' for the next 24 hours before chemo will even be considered. The hickmann line can be used which is fabulous. I tried to be brave when the blood lady (her job is to got round the hospital taking blood off patients all day- literally my worst career choice ever) came this morning and very begrudgingly let her try and she couldn't get blood so I immediately cried and fired her and told the doctor on her. You don't mess with me and my veins.
My neighbours have all pretty much changed. Mr grumpy old man and mr serious head concussion were discharged. Mrs bravest lady in the world has been transferred- where they tried 13 times to cannulate her and made her a pin cushion and she was still smiling and telling jokes while I was dry-heaving and running out of the room. Little aimee is beside me' is so sweet. I've kind of adopted her as she is in the diagnostic stage where I was not so long ago so been giving her advice about biopsies and other procedures I know about. My favourite Margaret has been transferred out to another ward and boy was she a source of entertainment today. A few choice comments to her and from her whilst she was being washed or moved. "how dare you touch me", "don't bite me Margaret", "you swine", yelling out for help from the people "on the street", "get off me you beasts" all with such venom and when she didn't get her own way she would say "I'm going to be sick" which worked once with each nurse until they cottoned on to her wicked ways. Even though she has now been moved I'm pretty sure I'll hear "could I have a cold drink please?" which she repeated at least 350 times throughout the night. I'll miss her.
A little bit longer than I thought I would write but I couldn't not share Margaret with the world!
So the plan is for me' to be fine for 24 hours then chemo on Friday either as a day patient on the medical day unit downstairs or in thomas maccauley if I have been moved at that point. My neutrophils (yes those bloody things again) have dropped so I am low again so all your "grow White blood cells grow" dances and songs will be gratefully received. The little injections will make them grow if your dances/ songs don't! Yea!!
Right bedtime for me' now.
Lots of love and hugs
Em xxx
Sent from my iPhone
Quick update to easy your worries as I know you are all super worried!!
Still here in aau in Chelsea and Westminster- should be in Thomas maccauley but there's no room. Feeling much better but not 100%. My fever has stabilised and my bloods and everything are fine but now I am off the antibiotics, I need to be 'normal' for the next 24 hours before chemo will even be considered. The hickmann line can be used which is fabulous. I tried to be brave when the blood lady (her job is to got round the hospital taking blood off patients all day- literally my worst career choice ever) came this morning and very begrudgingly let her try and she couldn't get blood so I immediately cried and fired her and told the doctor on her. You don't mess with me and my veins.
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| Blood taker ladies mess (bottom one!)- OWWWW big bruise!!! |
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| Cannula mess on the other arm - human pin cushion me!! |
My neighbours have all pretty much changed. Mr grumpy old man and mr serious head concussion were discharged. Mrs bravest lady in the world has been transferred- where they tried 13 times to cannulate her and made her a pin cushion and she was still smiling and telling jokes while I was dry-heaving and running out of the room. Little aimee is beside me' is so sweet. I've kind of adopted her as she is in the diagnostic stage where I was not so long ago so been giving her advice about biopsies and other procedures I know about. My favourite Margaret has been transferred out to another ward and boy was she a source of entertainment today. A few choice comments to her and from her whilst she was being washed or moved. "how dare you touch me", "don't bite me Margaret", "you swine", yelling out for help from the people "on the street", "get off me you beasts" all with such venom and when she didn't get her own way she would say "I'm going to be sick" which worked once with each nurse until they cottoned on to her wicked ways. Even though she has now been moved I'm pretty sure I'll hear "could I have a cold drink please?" which she repeated at least 350 times throughout the night. I'll miss her.
A little bit longer than I thought I would write but I couldn't not share Margaret with the world!
So the plan is for me' to be fine for 24 hours then chemo on Friday either as a day patient on the medical day unit downstairs or in thomas maccauley if I have been moved at that point. My neutrophils (yes those bloody things again) have dropped so I am low again so all your "grow White blood cells grow" dances and songs will be gratefully received. The little injections will make them grow if your dances/ songs don't! Yea!!
Right bedtime for me' now.
Lots of love and hugs
Em xxx
Sent from my iPhone
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