Update Again

(Sent 4th August 2011)

Hello! Did you miss me?

I predict this message will be a two parter as although I am writing this in bed still very much on my sugar high from my mass pick n mix selection at the cinema tonight (Tuesday), I'm hoping sleep will take me soon as I fear this won't be a good night for insomnia. Alas tomorrow is day of tests (or more correctly test) aka Emma vs the tumour verdict round two. 

I have successfully succeeded in project normality for the past couple of months since my birthday and last blog, apart from the occasional flare of pleurisy and even more sporadic hospital check ups, life with me has been relatively drama free. I have even mastered the skill of "head in sand" itis as I managed to distract myself long enough to forget about the tests until a week ago. Saying that, it was only recently mastered and it was primarily thanks to prof bower the great. 

Long story short, I was conversing with a lady whom I met recently and I was telling her of my past health hiccup and the future potential plans for me and she asked me the simple question "what do you want to do?". Simple enough yes but not necessarily one that had been ever asked to me when my answer was being taken into consideration. I pondered. I realised that the path I wanted to follow was not the one I had been put on medically. The stem cell transplant was my next stop if my condition was still hanging around and more than anything, I didn't want it. It would mean a month or so in solitary confinement while my body basically regenerated a new immune system. Baby McCaugheys would also be out of the question- my babies anyway as I could always find an egg donor. Not necessarily the things you want or need to think about until you have to. So my gut instinct was hell no to the transplant. So I looked into going down the natural route. I didn't venture far but enough to realise that there is a lot out there. Then came my monthly meet with bower. 

I must've caught him on a good day or a less of a bad day or he must have sensed my trepidation regarding the fast looming tests, either way his response to my newfound distain of his plan of the stem cell transplant, was complete agreement. With a wave of his hand, the notion was removed from not only the table but from the conversation and all subsequent discussions. "You'll be fine. You'll be fine. You'll be overpopulating the earth with your babies in no time". That positivity coming from bower is grounds for a national holiday in itself. So whatever his reasoning, his method worked and the last few weeks have flown by. And if it wasn't for that damn pick n mix, tonight would have flown by too!

So that was Tuesday and today is Thursday. My plans to scribe from my hospital bed yesterday went capluey as with the radioactive stuff they inject into me, in order for it to get sucked up by the tumour I needed to lie down for 90 mins and anything "active" like typing or playing iPhone games can attract all the radioactive stuff to the active muscles, highlighing them on the scan rather than the bad stuff. You get me? See I'm 3/4 of the way to becoming a doctor!

So yesterday went fine- all very uneventful once you have done them a couple of times. I've learnt all the tricks now- get the cannula taken out as quickly as possible and always ask for music when you're in the scan (30 mins of silence takes forever but 10 3 minute songs fly by - even when it's Pixie Lott's album -what a bunch of drivel but thanks anyway Pixie!!. So m&s filled my post scan starvation as you have to not eat or drink anything bar water from midnight which gets trickier when you are up most of the night! The day was topped off by an 8/8 meal with mum and I tipsily agreed to a new running partner for next years marathon. That's the new focus I guess- plus as my friend put it, I'll probably get on telly as I've got one of those great sob stories! 5 minutes of fame! Woo hoo!

So now the other stuff in a nutshell- working 4 days a week at work thanks to my wonderful boss who has been very supportive. Without going over old ground as I'm not sure what you know- went to back to work all guns blazing then slowly the adrenaline and excitement wore off and I was just really tired. The tipping point was on my birthday when I was sitting at my desk and as everyone came with cake to sing happy birthday, I burst into tears and sobbed disgustingly into the cake! I was completely overtired. So it was deemed best for everyone involved if I cut my hours and worked up to a full week. So 3 days have become 4 days and will soon go back to a full week again. Can't wait  but honestly it'll be good to be back to normal. 

Speaking of normal, my new hair is definitely not my natural shade. I have gone bleeched blonde. Why not I thought? The cancer (or chemo more correctly) took my hair so I am taking back control by purposely keeping it short and having fun. Attached is a photo for your pleasure but please don't judge too much- it was at the work summer party so I am not at my most sober.

I think that is all- Simon and I are off to Brussels this weekend and then in a couple of weeks 5 girlfriends and I are off to our house in the South of France for a week which will be lovely. Well hopefully. We are doing a Come Dine With Me style challenge each night so fingers crossed I avoid getting salmonella! Just kidding. Honestly don't spit in my food.

Results are due on August 12th so I promise to update you again. 

Speak soon.

Lots of hugs and kisses,
Em
XX

Sent from my iPhone