Update Number 26

Sent 27/1/2011


Dear all,

Sorry I have been AWOL but I assure you that no news is good news or should I say no news is no news!

I honestly don't know where this past fortnight has gone. I say fortnight because the first week after chemo I am no good to anyone. Just an eating and sleeping monster thanks to the steroids which makes my appetite insatiable and me' unable to sleep so a sleeping pill addict. I can tell you simon is a very lucky boy that week- I am hot stuff!

Actually, in the grand scheme of things this chemo has been the best. The side effects I've had like the chronic indigestion haven't been too bad. Certainly not like chemo 3 when i couldn't stop vomiting. Who knew aniseed pepto bismal would be my chemo lifesaver. With that breath, again lucky boy simon.

Week two consisted of lots of injections. My neutrophils were 0.8 when I went back in a week after chemo. They should be 2 to 8 so I was put on 5 sets of gcsf and they dropped to 0.1 which should not happen. Fun and games. Two more injections followed on wed and thurs of last week which definitely worked- boy did I ache. I know how Harry potter felt when he had to grow new bones as I'm sure that's what was happening to me. I was so achey I could barely move and my neutrophils jumped up to 36! I was so healthy I could practically eat off the pavement so the weekend I went a bit nuts.

On friday night, I had wine and take away sushi (only the cooked stuff though- the raw stuff will have to wait a little longer) with a friend. Then went selfridges shopping on Saturday morning with mum and Amy. My first trip on public transport since September and I had truly forgotten how lovely it was- all those pleasant people with hacking coughs and loud music. Shopping was funded by a selfridges voucher christmas present from our generous dad and I got some very cool converse and some make up for when I venture back into the world. I don't think my transparent cancer glow will be acceptable once I am cured. After that we ventured to eight over eight for a girly lunch. Many an hour and many a pound were spent on a delicious lunch with wine- a couple of bottles to be precise. I went home to my injured boyfriend who had had a football accident the week before, had lots of water and sobered up so felt fine the next morning to start again. On Sunday, popped on the long wig and a nice dress and met some friends for lunch. Again lots of wine with some yummy food and great company though i have to apologise for pulling the cancer card to get the last spring roll. That was a cheap move!!

It was a lovely weekend albeit a busy one and I have been absolutely knackered this week. Good to see the old me' is still there though and released with the popping of a cork, hidden under the lack of hair and cancer chat.

I am currently sitting in the hospital, just having had a reflexology session (some perks to spending hours in the hospital) and hooked into a drip for the r of my r-chop. My neutrophils have dropped again that my last and final chemo has been postponed to Monday after a couple more of those little injections from nurse simon. Fingers crossed that this is the last. I do have a bit of news in that there is a slight plan albeit a sketchy one. Four weeks after this chemo I am booked in for a ct and pet scan. There were queries about whether the pet scan was necessary but I'm sorry fellow taxpayers, I insisted. I'd rather know 100% that I have the all clear than there be any shadow of a doubt. But saying that, it's good news that they only wanted a basic scan- fingers crossed. Then after that we will know a bit more about the future and I can start making plans for my life- holidays, dinners, typical 27 year old stuff rather than the geriatric lifestyle I'm accustomed too.

I surprisingly (or maybe not) got a bit teary about the change my life is going to take. I've gotten used to the friendly faces at chelsea and westminster and my relaxed routine. As although I would much rather be healthy, living a normal life and back at work, this has been my life for 6 months so the transition back may be a little trickier. This is completely normal and I have been warned that it's the time after the treatment that can be the most difficult to digest. Saying that, all this is from the girl who had cabin fever and was so frustrated about still being in this cancer situation a couple of weeks ago. I can tend to be a bit fluctuating so once again lucky simon, mum and dad.

Apart from all that life and health have been good. Perhaps I shouldn't say this but I had a mishap the other day. After noticing a bit of skin pigmentation on my neck, I brought it up with shauna, my wonderful chemo nurse. She said it could have been brought on my the chemo but after a bit of further investigation with some water and a gauze, the strange pigmentation was exposed as dirt! How disgusting am I!!! I do bathe every day, sometimes twice but to my credit (okay I am clutching at straws) my hickmann line comes up to my neck and I'm a bit paranoid of it so try and avoid looking at it let alone touch or wash it. I'm coming across as a bit of a state- honestly I'm looking after myself and do scrub up nicely. Well I try.

I hope you are all well and keeping busy and again, hope to catch up with you all when all this is over.

Love and kisses and will keep you informed.

Love em xxxx

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